Since

Since my last entry there has been something of a development. With hindsight I can see that that one was written during a lull between bouts of the stomach cramps, shooting pains and other abdominal unpleasantnesses that I had been experiencing during April, May and much of June. For a while it was thought likely to be pancreatitis perhaps caused by the immunotherapy drug that I was on. Subsequent CT scans, an endoscopy and biopsy, however, will show that there is in fact a new primary cancer. While I was actually perfectly happy being Stage 4 Kidney Cancer, and could have kept going for ages with that, discovering that I am Stage 3 Pancreatic Cancer too, which is generally much more aggressive and has a tendency to be chemo-resistant, well, that really changes the dynamic. 

And so I have been handed over from Renal to Hepatopancreatobiliary, where I am told that I may have a year to live. More or less. Give or take. Thereabouts. A bit of a situation, you might say. 

So, what to do about it? In fact, after some disturbed nights churning it over, I have decided to put off chemo for as long as possible into the autumn on the grounds that time NOW, while I am still reasonably active, is much more important to me than a few extra months next year when I am wretched. It is unlikely that I will ever be physically as well as I am now, so I do not want to sabotage myself with chemo, standard or super heavy duty. There is the risk that the cancer spreads too fast, of course, and I may miss the chance to have any treatment at all - but I am at ease with the decision that I have made.